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Jimmy Kimmel interview transcript
from 11-12-03

Thanks so much to Beth for transcribing it!

[General greetings. AR in jeans, navy button down shirt and blazer.]

JK: I hope you take this as a compliment, but it's a little unsettling to see you smile...because to me, you're evil.

AR: How kind of you. Thank you very much

JK: It's the least I could do. Do you prefer playing the evil guy, or do you like to mix it up a little bit?

AR: No, as long as I can make sense of one word after another...I never know what they are. It doesn't matter at all.

JK: And you're from...what part of England are you from?

AR: Right in the middle of London. Right by Paddington Station. So if anybody's coming in on the Heathrow Express, I'm a minute over the road.

JK: They can stop by?

AR: They can...there'll be tea

JK: That'll be nice. That'll be very nice. I have a little tea here, if you'd like some, too.

AR: No, not from America. I'd die.

JK: Are you a . . .really? That's funny, because...

AR: You haven't got a clue.

JK: I was...actually I worked at a radio station here in town - KROQ - and Elvis Costello came in and he asked for some tea. And I rushed to make him some tea, and I brought him some, and he said this is the best tea I've had since I've been here; what kind is it? And I said Lipton.

[AR smirks]

JK: True story, absolutely. Well, sorry about the tea, but we have other good stuff, like...um...

AR: Your government?

JK Yeah, we have Governor Schwarzenegger; you don't have that.

AR: [clears throat] That's fabulous. [More smirking] Well, we just got rid of . . . well, not *just*, but we managed to get rid of Margaret Thatcher, and that's taken a long time.

JK: I see...you were in favor of that?

AR: Getting rid of her? Yeah. There was a cartoon once where I saw... it said, on her grave "R.I. P. Margaret Thatcher: Licensed for Dancing."

JK: [looks confused] Oh, that's... nice. She was married to President Reagan for a while, right?

AR: [smiling] She was, yeah. That's completely true.

JK: Isn't that right? They were dating or something, I'm not sure what happened. Have you met, like... have you met the Prince and the Queen?

AR: Yeah, I have. I've met quite a lot of them. But you know, I don't believe in any bowing and scraping. I won't do any of that. I was in a film line-up once with Kate Winslet, and she was standing next to me once. I said 'curtsey, and I'll kill you.'

JK: Really? So you don't go for that.

AR: No, I won't have any of that

JK: What, do you give a high five to the Queen as you go by?

AR: She's a little short for that, actually. 

JK: A low five?

AR: [leans over] Hello, down there.

JK: You know, one of the women that works here, Molly, she just saw your new movie, it's called Love Actually, and she said that she will personally reimburse anyone who doesn't like it. That's how much she loved the film.

AR: Good for you, Molly!

JK: So if you want your eight dollars afterwards, write in care of Molly, here. But...it's a little bit different? Is it a chick flick, this film?

AR: [grimaces a bit] Um...I think it might be a dick flick as well [and yes, they *tried* to bleep that out, but they ended up bleeping out 'flick,' and leaving AR saying 'dick.' *g*]

JK So...it's a little of everything.

AR: And some very beautiful women take their clothes off, so if any of the men here are interested in that...

JK: We've got a clip here. Alan Rickman in Love Actually.

[Plays clip]

JK: A little of everything. Jackson [Flea's son]. You're ten years old. You know this guy from the Harry Potter movies?

Jackson: [smiling] Yeah.

JK: What do you think of him?

Jackson: Evil.

JK: See? That's what I was saying earlier!

AR: What did I do?? I save Harry's life all the time!

Jackson: Not in the first one, you don't.[editorial note: Um...wrong, kid. *g*]

JK: Do a lot of children recognize you now?

AR: No, because I'm careful not to wear that black wig in the street.

JK: Oh, is that right? That's good.

AR: I figure I could put the wig on a stick, and it would sign autographs.

JK: But otherwise, they don't give you the eye as they pass?

AR: No, no...they believe in the story. I'm not him.

JK: No, you're not [laughs] That's good for you. Had you read the books before you got involved in this whole thing?

AR: No. I just read them as we get there, you know, so I don't have a clue. [turns to Jackson] Can you tell me what happens in the next one?

[General laughing and chit chat with all the guests as they go to commercial]